Hello?!

    Hi there! So I'm BACK yet again!! after another little "stretch". But this time I'm going to share a bit of a funny story with you all. So why did I (at 5:24AM no less) just get into a full on altercation with an automated service?! It all started off innocently, I was simply calling the USPS number to track a package that should have been here since YESTERDAY and wanted to basically let someone know that I was less than happy and would like to be able to pick it up instead (I won't be home when it's supposed to get here, but am SICK of playing the waiting game "I'm sick (V)Ron" -Sammie from Jersey Shore voice. So I think maybe if I call early enough, I can stop them before it's too late...

wrong!


I get on the phone with this pompous excuse of an automated woman and it went downhill from there. I can't even begin to describe how smug she was!! She asks me my tracking number and then gives me absolutely NOTHING I need to hear, talking about "OHhhhh...it's on the way...more info is updated overnight...wooptie woo" And so I cut her off! "Customer Service!!" and THAT's where it begins. For the sake of brevity, I'll call her "Rita"

Rita: I'm sorry I don't understand you, did you say "track a package"

Me: no, "Speak with an agent"

Rita: Is your package a domestic or international package

Me: Customer Service!!

Rita: I don't understand what you're saying to go to the main menu, please say "main menu" to track a package, please say "track a package"

Me: Look I wanna talk to somebody REAL!

Rita: Please say "Yes" or "No"

Me: *slams desk* You know WHAT!!! Customer Service!!


Rita: I'm sorry...I didn't get that did you say "track a package"?

(And here is where I REALLY lost it...because she kept speaking in this "calm" voice as if to say "Sir please calm down"...and I had HAD IT!)

Me: YEAH you RIGHT you sorry, I said I wanna talk to customer service, I don't want no "yes" no "no" you betta put me on this LINE!! (As I'm now furiously pressing the "0" and "*" keys on my phone)


(And as if to intentionally cut ME off she says)

Rita: I'm sorry you've reached the offices outside of business hours please call back at 8am (and you KNOW she had the most ignorant emphasis placed on the number "8")

Me: o_O Yeah? Well Good Riddance!! 


So there I was...left with nothing....so I decided to write about it.

Good Morning!!

And "Rita" you BET let me catch you out here in these streets!!


-Will